Kidflush Begs the Question: Why ShopNBC?

Posted on July 24, 2009


Maybe you think you can find that elusive, Tonight Show with Conan O’Brian ball cap or maybe a 30 Rock Polo Shirt or some corny NBC golf gear.  I don’t even know if any of this stuff exists (of course it does) but it certainly ain’t at ShopNBC.  So what is ShopNBC anyway?  I didn’t really go there to find that out, I wanted to see if they had any interesting apparel (for cheap).  I think they had 4 items for Dynasty-hangover women (Dynasty as in the 80’s night soap).  In fact I can say right now that this whole site is for women.  Nothing said that more than one particular category I found quite pleasing.

Well the layout was very walmart-ish, lots of categories, feelings of limitless-ness but then you remember: this is shopNBC, what could they have?  Then your eyes fall further along the column and you see a category selection for price range (hmmm).  Usually an indicator of large inventory but those price categorizations can be dream killers.  If I look in my price range (for cheap) I won’t find anything so I’m thinking why go on.  It makes me look at the higher price range like: I’m not paying for anything from shopNBC for this much.  So unless you have a huge inventory where people are likely to find somthing they like for cheap, ditch the price range category.  A nice drop down box on the search results would be best.  I’m more likely to spend out of my price range if I find an item in general population.

There were some watches featured on the front page, I figured I may take a gander but wasn’t overly interested.  Nothing stood out.  I clicked the apparel button and when 7 items appeared, I leisurely looked around for the buttons separating men and women, or more categories on the left or… there… must… (heh) be more than… 7 items.  Now I’m questioning my selection of this review assignment (assigned by me).  There is no men’s category all there is, is Pamela McCoy.  I don’t know who Pamela McCoy* is but ShopNBC definitely does.  She’s all over the place.  Is it some kind of vanity label?  Is it connected to the soaps?  Help me out here.

I had to find something worth buying (for my Flush Five at least).  I clicked around to the sports memorabilia and actually found a few things, a couple possibly worth buying, like a signed Manny Ramierez Bat (Mannywood!) but it was over $300bucks.  There was a piece of Michael Jordan floor plaqued-up and signed for, like, $100bucks.  Stuff is expensive there.

Next I clicked around to lamps, I was getting desperate.  But I found this accent lamp shaped like a frog rocking out with a guitar.  He wasn’t really rocking out, I guess, just sitting on a lilipad playing his guitar.  It was $31bucks.  Around this time I noticed the recentlly viewed items bar at the bottom.  Almost a fetish for me.  Wasn’t much to display there though.  They have shite for inventory at that place.  Just as I cursed ShopNBC I noticed a little thumbnail link to gourmet food (don’t ask me how I found it).  Gourmet food?  Really.

Yeah, really.  And let me just start out by saying: Papa’s Desserts Cheesecake sampler.  That’s where it all started.  I mean, they had the filet mignon, the steaks, gourmet burgers, the steak sandwich steaks, the… All that stuff was great and I’m going back to look again on a food porn session (mayo=lotion?) but it was when I found page upon page of cheese cake that I fell in love.  I don’t even like cheesecake that much but they were serving up some weapons grade, dairy desserts.  Frosted, flavored, fruited, it was criminal.  Cheesecakes must be insurance against must see TV.  Every Law and Order spinoff must be mortgaged from cheesecake.  Cheesecake is figured into the pay statement of NBC employees.  In California, instead of money, NBC employees got IOU’s written in cheesecake.  Cheesecake.

But out of all that Cheesecake, Filet Mignon and Jumbo Coconut Shrimp (unmentioned until now) not one of these gourmet items was on sale.  I’d have to get a fat rebate from Rebate Zoo on that mess!  But if I can get a decent percentage I’ll be buying a new fridge to house all the cheesecake I’ll be buying.

*(It’s named after a host of the home shopping channel: ShopNBC.  Oh yeah, the shopping channel, I get it now.)